Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Self imposed hibernation

I have been doing much better about getting out and going to the stores etc. For almost 3 years my agoraphobia kept me near homebound. Well I think the holidays have caused a set back in that for now. I do not think I can go out to the stores until the holidays are over. I went to wal-mart the other day and it was so crowded and chaotic I had to talk myself into staying and finishing my shopping. I stocked up on tons of sewing supplies and other stuff so I will not have to go to the store again for quite sometime. I have most of the gifts already bought and the rest I will buy online. I cannot deal with the noise and all the people. I have had 2 panic attacks in the past week and I think most of it is from the stress of the holidays coming up.

I also think bad things can happen being around so many people. I am sure most of these worries are a bit unrealistic but they can happen. I worry about exposure to germs, coughing kids, people with the flu. I also saw a news show the other day where a man went into a crowded shopping mall and shot people and held others hostage. I worry that this could happen at some crowded place that I am shopping in.

I have had people ask me if I get bored at home. I do NOT get bored at home. It feels good to get out because it shows me that I am doing well but if I never leave my house I have plenty to do here. I love to read, play on the computer, nap, watch tv, sew, crochet, scrapbook and other crafts.

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