Another day at home..

Ok I admit, I did not get out of the house today like I had set my goal for. I stayed up until 2am in a panic worrying about having to go out. I finally convinced myself that it was silly to force myself to leave my home where I feel safe unless I have to.
I also spent most of the day in pain. I took my oxycontin just like I am supposed to and took the maximum amount of oxycodone but it still just did not help with the achy feeling in my bones.
I spent most of the day on the couch, with my laptop and television. I keep hoping that there will be a new med for my pain that will help but so far there has been nothing that has worked for me.
I have heard some new things about high level folic acid helping with some of the pain. My dr mentioned it last time I saw him but we did not go further into it because we were mostly concerned with the new pain I had in my right arm and shoulder and were trying to see if it was nerve pain or something else.
I just am tired of feeling so much pain. It has been years since I have had a pain free moment. I can no longer even wear a bra because it causes too much pain in my ribs. I have had to switch to just wearing cami bras. I can only wear loose shoes like crocs, tevas, birks etc because my foot swelling so much that the shoes hurt. I also noticed since the addition of a different med a few months ago my contact lens bother me often and I have to switch to glasses on most days. I think it is caused from dry eyes. I even got special contacts that are supposed to be good for dry eyes. It is hard to explain the level of pain I have. Some days the pain is so bad that I can not even brush my hair. If I can manage to get through my anxiety for long enough to go get my hair cut that would help a ton with that problem. I have been to anxious to go get a haircut for years so my hair is way down my back. Not because I planned to grow it that long, but because I just could not manage to get a haircut lol.
I have a long list of lab work I need to get done, there are a few new things that are being tested, things like vitamin D and vitamin A. Of course a repeat of the lupus test and my sed rate, which has been sky high the times it has been tested. I saw one rheumatologist but he was an odd odd duck and I never went back since my regular dr specializes in pain issues but if my sed rate is still really high or the ana test ( tests for lupus) comes back abnormal I will have to go find another rheumatologist to see.
I have an order to go get an xray of my neck to check if there is any further changes in the bone spurs and discs.
I think I am going to go soak in the jacuzzi tub and lay on the couch with a heat bag for awhile.