Monday, March 19, 2007

New meds start tommorow

Well, I had my phone conversation with the psych dr. I see him thursday but wanted to start the new meds sooner. He called in a script for zoloft and I have instructions on how to wean from my higher dose of lexapro onto the zoloft. It seems like it is going to be a 4 week ordeal of switching fully from one, onto the other. I asked him about stopping the wellbutrin but he wants to change as little as possible at a time. So, that also means I will not be able to restart the lyrica or change my pain meds for awhile either. I understand that it is best not to change to much at one time.
I am worried about starting the new med.
My husband is off most of this week and weekend and I have posted a search for a mommy's helper for a few days a week for the next month. I just am trying to prepare for the side effects of weaning off an old med and starting on a new one. I am hoping to be just fine but will feel better if I have some plans.
I wish I had an extended family or a circle of friends. I wish I had neighbors that were my friends.
It is hard to feel like I really do not have people that I can depend on if I ever need some help...
When I feel better that is something I need to work on. I have some plans for things I want to do
I have signed up for some different online moms groups for my area, I know I can not be active in them now but I can at least talk online to the gals and get to know them. I know I also want to take some yoga classes and maybe a dance class. I have lots of things I want to do...I just need my mind to free me up to do them.
It is hard to explain how all consuming it is to be in a panic all the time. I spend so much time and energy with anxiety that I have little left for other things.
I did have a good day today so that was a bonus. It left me feeling positive about the med change. I read back over my blog and see that in the beginning I sounded stronger, more determined to get better. My recent posts have sounded like I am defeated. I think I have felt more and more pessimistic about getting better as time goes on and I am not any better.
My psych dr did tell me though that the longer I can stay symptom free, the lower my chances are for a relapse. So, I guess the means if this zoloft works, the more good days I have, the less chance I have of having a bad day.
I always hate new medications. I am scared I will have an allergic reaction and die. I plan to take the first dose tomorrow along with a generous serving of xanax...

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