Would it matter?

I guess today I am just feeling sorry for myself. I am in tons of pain and even with my pain meds it is not helping too much. The pain is the worst on my right shoulder/upper arm, shoulder blade area which makes it very hard for me to be on the computer. My computer is my main source of friendship and entertainment and not being able to be online as much as I need to be is very frustrating. I am sitting now on the couch with my arm on a pillow and a heat pack on my shoulder while I am trying to type this on my laptop.
I sometimes wonder if something happened to me, would I be missed. Would people even realize I was not around anymore? When I worked I knew that I would be missed if I was gone and that I would have people who would come to my funeral etc. Now, I just wonder if it would make a difference at all. Would anybody miss me??? would anybody come to my funeral? Would I just be forgotten as if I never existed in the first place?
I know I want my life to have meaning and purpose. I just am not sure how to do this. I try to be kind and generous. I try to watch my words and not say or do things that could hurt somebody. I try to help others anytime that I can. But, it still just does not seem like enough. I think that is what I want to try to figure out in the next few weeks..what do I want to do with the rest of my life. Sort of like what do I want to be when I grow up lol..I am 37 now and figure if lucky I could live another 50 years...so I want to make sure that I make my life meaningful. I am young enough now that I can still do something with my life to make a difference. I do not want to wake up one day when I am 65 or 70 years old and realize that I have let all these years go by and that I did not do anything with my life.
I am realistic though. I realize that with my anxiety and panic issues that I can not plan to do things outside of my home. If I end up being able to go out and do stuff that is a bonus but I can do plenty from home. I have made hats and other items to donate and made quite a few last year but I just do not feel like that is enough. I guess I will be spending some time in the next few weeks thinking about what kinds of things I can do that will make me feel like I am doing something meaningful.
I feel like this post is just a bunch of ramble...it probably is. I am in too much pain and feeling too sorry for myself to worry about this making sense.