What if.....

What if?...seems to be a question that keeps me from doing things. No matter what comes up I always question, what if...
Maybe instead of asking what if I need to change my thoughts. There will always be what ifs.
If I want to go somewhere I wonder what if my car breaks, what if we get in a wreck, what if the roof of the store falls in, what if the store is robbed...the list goes on and on and it gets me nowhere.
I try to put these thoughts out of my mind but then something comes along and starts the thoughts all over again. I try to block out things like the news, the newspaper, scary tv shows etc but somehow my mind still finds things to worry about.
I also seem to have really odd dreams. They seem so real. I know that some of the medications I take can make people have weird dreams. I have always had dreams but never ones that were just so real and seem to have the same sort of theme over and over. Recently the dreams have been about me having to go back to work. In my dreams I lose my disability checks and have to go back to work. I go back to work in a hospital. Sometimes in my dreams it is a hospital in this time and other times it is one back years and years ago. All sorts of things go wrong for me in my dreams. I either can not find the patients that I am taking care of or I forget to give them their medications. I will all of a sudden realize it is the end of my shift and I have not taken care of anybody. I walk to another hallway and then can not find my way back to the floor I was working on. When I get ready to leave I can not find my car and then when I try to call home I keep hitting the wrong numbers on the phone and get not get through to anybody.
Lots of other really odd things happen to me when I am dreaming that I am working.
I wake up and am really freaked out. I look at the clock and then try to think and try to make sure that it really was a dream and that I really did not have to go to work. Sometimes I wake up my husband and make sure that things are ok.
I have other weird dreams also. One dream was that my car had no brakes and I had to just keep driving and driving and trying to avoid hitting things and wrecking. It was really scary and again I woke up freaked out and started worrying that what if that really did happen..
I also have dreams that seem so real and freaky and when I wake up I remember the dream but then it seems that in a matter of a day or so I forget the details of it. I have thought about writing down my dreams but then figured that maybe I just am not meant to remember them...maybe it would be more upsetting if I remembered exactly what happened in my dream. I would probably obsess over it and that would not be good.
I sure wish I could go back to the days that my dreams were about fun lighthearted things lol.