May June and July 2007

I have fallen behind on blogging. I wrote in my journal but just never got around to putting it in my blog. I will copy some stuff from my journal onto here just to kind of catch up.
I raised my dose of zoloft a few times. I am on 150mg now. I will raise it a few more times until I am on 200mg. I raise it by 25mg at a time but need to give it a month or so at each dose to see how it will work.
These 3 months I only left the house to go to my dr appts. I use the excuse that it is too hot, but I really just do not have any desire to go anywhere.
Kim moved back in, guess she got tired of having room mates and so she moved back in.
Josh moved out. He just can not stay away from his friends here who get him into trouble. He was kicked out of his out patient rehab program because he was still smoking weed. He last few urine tests from probation have been positive also. He has not completed his community service like he was supposed to. He was then put on house arrest. This was very hard on all of us because of his anger problems. He was cooped up here and could not leave the house so he started acting out more and more. He is 16 but can not get a drivers license because of his arrests.
In July I decided that we could not deal with this anymore. Almost 4 years of this, of him being arrested numerous times, his inpatient rehab, outpatient rehab. All the costs of court fees, attorney fees, probation fees etc. All of his lies and everything else. We sent him to live with his dad in July. Josh did not want to go. He protested and begged. He actualy took off the day he was suposed to leave and did not come home til then next day so he purposely missed is plane. He thought that meant he would not have to go. NO, that just meant I had to spend more money for another ticket so he could leave.
He finally did leave. He calls here constantly begging to come home and promising he will not ever get in trouble again etc. Well, it is a shame that I can not believe him. His word is not worth the air he uses to make it. I just can not deal with it anymore. I worry about the safety of my other kids. I worry about the toll that the stress takes on me. He has been warned over and over for 4 years and it is time for him to move elsewhere.