Fall is coming

I hope fall will be here soon. I know it will be on the calender but I am sure we will have at least another month or 2 of awful hot weather.
I went to the psych dr the other day and he asked me if I wanted to try a different med since this one is helping but not helping 100%. I decided to stay with what I am on. I am better, not normal and I do not think I ever will be normal. I do not want to risk trying something else and then having it not help as much as this. If this med stops working, like the lower dose did, then I will have to try something else.
I asked the psych dr if I will ever just not have to worry about anxiety...his answer was that unless we found a magic pill that I would always have to deal with it. His goal is to get me to a point that I mostly have good days and once in awhile have a rough patch.Right now I have bad days and good days, his goal is more like me having good months with a few bad days. I was at that point before, last year before the lexapro stopped working.
I can feel that I have more of my agoraphobia right now. I do not want to go anywhere. I make excuses not to leave the house. I do not want to go to the store or anywhere. I make plans to and then the day comes and I make an excuse to not go. I have gone a few times with my husband but I would rather not. There is no real reason, I just feel like I am safe and comfortable at home.
I watched a few episodes of the show Monk, about a detective with OCD and wow do I relate...I totally do..it is funny to watch the show but it is not funny when it is happening to me.
I also have been a bit more of a hypochondriac. I did well for awhile about not worrying about stuff, illnesses etc but had a few bad weeks where I was sure something was wrong with me.
I am having a good day and hope to be able to go with the family on a drive to phx tommorow to visit J in rehab.